I recently had a friend of over 40 years tell me that “I was the most consistent person, he knew.”
My life situation, behaviors, geography, and even some beliefs have changed over that 40 year time frame. However, what I think my friend was alluding to the power of consistently showing up with a positive attitude and intentionally building the habits so that people can count on you.

My habits and routines are a critical component of showing up consistently with a good attitude.
-As a teenager I boxed and worked out, today I still box and workout religiously at 77.

-I was learning and exploring new things as a young adult, today that sense of wonder and curiosity remains.
-As a younger man, I always tried to go out of my way to help people however, I could through
introductions, money, mentorship, ect. I still do this today. Helping young men, gives me energy and purpose.
– Everyday, I make time for prayer to start my day. This puts me in the right frame of mind to show up.

At this point I do a lot of these routines subconsciously and when my routine is off, my day feels off.
The power of consistency has a compounding effect. These routines I have, empower me with the physical, spiritual, and mental strength to show up to be my best for others. Sometimes people ask me what my secret is, but it’s really just prioritizing and committing to simple habits on a regular basis.

I think there’s a lot to be learned about humanity and human behavior through animal documentaries. Particularly those that are honest in telling the story of nature and not interested in portraying nature with Rose-Colored glasses.

Recently, I have been watching documentaries about the Lion prides in Africa. It’s hard to put into words the overall brutality and savagery that happens in these environments to survive. In the wild, survival and passing on one’s genetics are the mechanisms that drive everything. It’s brutally competitive where every single resource is precious. Every scrap of food and water are fought over, guarded, and often killed for. The difference between survival and death is a razor thin margin. I’ve read that only 1 in 5 lion cubs make it to age 1.

We may think we’re a highly evolved creatures, but the comparisons are overwhelming. Below are some examples for Lions, but there also very common to many animal species.

1. The #1 danger for Lions is other Lions. The Lions will fight many times to the death for territory, breeding rights, access to resources food and water. This echoes the human world. The number #1 danger for humans is other humans.
a. The wars throughout history have left a very large body count, usually fought over territory and access to resources.
b. Nuclear weapons
c. Human error/ or behavior- car accidents, risky behavior such as drug use, ect.
d. We don’t put locks on our doors to keep animals out of our house.

2. Status and Hierarchy are important in the Lion society. The strongest, most dominant males make the decisions and get access to the very best selection of food and mating partners. There’s hierarchy among female lions as well.

a. Today strength is usually not biggest indicator in human society. But money, fame, power usually are thought of as important indicators of status (right or wrongly). If hierarchy didn’t matter, why would people be so obsessed with these things? Physical Strength has just been replaced by business or monetary influence, otherwise it’s the same.

b. Why are designer bags and clothes so expensive and why are women willing to pay for them? I think there’s a great argument to be made that these are symbols of status and hierarchy. Larger houses most likely are not just for comfort.

3. Survival Depends on the group. Lions live together because there is strength in numbers and they will most likely die on their own. Hunting is more difficult without a group. Protecting cubs is significantly more difficult for the solo lion.
a. Humans have massively organized ourselves better than any species on the planet. This is probably the reason why we’re able to thrive.

b. Parenting, family structure, and communities are all important for raising children, protection, and obtaining resources (work, school, infrastructure)

*There are countless examples of other animals that live and work in groups for survival: wolves, monkeys, antelope, elephants, ect.

4. Biological urge to Pass on genetics. Male Lions are driven by their need to pass on their genetics. When they take over a territory, they almost always brutally kill all the rival males and the cubs of other males. They will then do almost anything to protect their own cubs.

a. Most human parents would die to protect their children. Grandparents invest enormous amounts of resources into their grandchildren.

b. While we don’t kill the children of other humans, we definitely do not feel that same care and love for other people’s children as our own. There’s statistical evidence that children that live in a household with a non-blood adult are significantly more likely to experience abuse or neglect of some form.

5. Deep Formation of Bonds. Lions form deep bonds with their siblings, parents, cousins, aunts, and other members of the pride. These bonds are incredibly important for their survival in incredibly harsh environments. It’s even very common for young male lions to form “coalition” groups with their brothers so they can work together to survive and take over their own territories someday.
a. Humans desire deep relationships with our partners and those in the community. These bonds help nurture us, teach us, and help us thrive in the world.

b. Communication with humans as with lions, is a vital part of survival as well.

6. Resources: In the wild, access to water and food are precious. If a lion makes a kill for food, there is a very short amount of time before it attracts all kinds of animals looking for a meal. Scavengers like vultures are usually the first to spot the opportunity and this works a signal to everything that might be looking for food such as hyenas, wild dogs, ect. The carcass will need to be protected and fought over for the lion to maintain it and eat it. If this doesn’t sound like human economics, I don’t know what does.

a. Capitalism is absolutely brutal. New businesses are always emerging to try to attract customers, revenue, and grow their reach.

b. Even the companies that do become successful have to work tirelessly to fight off challengers that are trying to take market share.

c. Similar to the scavengers on in the wild, people can be incredibly resourceful in finding opportunities during difficult times.

I recognize that humans and lions/animals are very different, but I found it extremely humbling to watch these documentaries. Many of the characteristics seen in humans, can be seen across much of nature. While we think we are so sophisticated and evolved, I think a good argument could be made that we’re pretty much doing the same core behaviors as the animals and that there is something to be learned about humanity by observing nature.

It pays to be an optimist. However, optimism requires immense courage.

If we look at the world, the optimists usually are the ones shaping it. They’re inventing new technologies, building new companies, making better investments, and having more fulfilling personal and spiritual lives.

Optimists are not happy all the time, or wildly joyful “Cup Half Full” people. They are careful and thoughtful. They’re certainly not reckless gamblers. However, optimists tend to have a belief that if they give their time and energy to the right things on a consistent basis that over the long haul, things will work out.

Real optimism is just fortitude by another name. Fortitude in pursuit of purpose. When a person has a larger purpose, they’re able to dust themselves off and keep going in a positive direction.

Pessimists and the overtly negative people might sound smart as they point out all the reasons why something won’t work or can’t happen. Sometimes they are smart, but sometimes they’re covering up their own lack of fortitude by quitting before they’ve tried. Being an optimist requires a long-term view of the world so that emotion does not overly impact your decision making. Some examples of this:

Personal:
The optimists usually tend to make the best of the situations with their family and friends. This is a self-fulfilling feedback loop. The optimists understand not every moment of their relationships will be perfect, but CHOOSE to work hard on the relationships because the relationships are important to them. This choice to work hard and seek out the good, provides the foundation for the relationships to be better.

A pessimist’s relationship may begin to spiral because they can’t see the good, don’t want to put in the work to see the good, or unwilling to put effort into the difficulties.
So, it can all quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

How many couples divorce when going through the normal, everyday challenges that marriage presents? Divorce is a permanent decision that impacts them, their children, families, and finances. Would these couples still get divorced if they slowed down and asked themselves is this just a tough temporary period, or is it a permanent situation that cannot possibly be rectified? What are the long-term consequences of our decisions? Are there no positives in our relationship and our family structure that are worth doing the hard work on?

Investing:
Historically speaking it’s paid to be an optimist over the long term. Going throughout history there have been dangers and reasons not to invest: World wars, heavy inflation, Cuban missile crisis, Desert Storm, Iraq wars, Vietnam, the rise of Communism, the assignation of JFK, pandemics, race riots, ect. Yes, there have been short term volatility during many difficult/uncertain times, but the economies and stock market have rewarded those who stayed invested during times of uncertainty. In this case, historically it has literally paid to be an optimist.

Business:
Nearly every business at one point or another faced difficulties where it looked like the business would not make it. The leaders and team members who had the persistent optimism to keep going when the outcome was uncertain.

Faith
Some cynics criticize people of faith as simple, dumb, or believing in fantasy stories. Yet, what could be more courageous than having absolutely no proof yet choosing to believe? To dedicate yourself to a life of principle. This optimism and purpose may be the ultimate act of bravery and fortitude. Statistics show that people who practice faith experience greater levels of happiness and fulfillment in their relationships and lives. The optimism that is required for faith, most likely prepares people to overcome the difficulties and challenges in their lives.

An important word to recognize is uncertainty. We seek certainty, but the future is unclear. Optimists know it is unclear, they know that there’s a chance that things might not work out, but they persevere anyways.

How many of us wrestle with own thoughts and our minds as we struggle to make sense of everyday life? We all do.

“If I can just figure this problem out. If I’m somehow smart enough, I will be able to get all the pieces to align and make sense, then I will be the master of my world.” We probably actually don’t say this part, but it’s something that high achievers particularly like to subconsciously believe that they’re in complete control and that through their intelligent thought, they will somehow bend the universe to their will.
I am coming to the conclusion that thought and intelligence, might only be a very small piece of the puzzle and at times might be more of a hindrance than the solution. Here are 3 contradictory quotes that I am meditating on.

“I think therefore, I am.”- René Descartes
“98% of all thought is repetitive and utterly useless.” Eckhart Tolle
“Your brain is good for two things: worrying about the future and replaying the past. It will do these things over and over… until those painful hurts become a part of your identity. ”-Richard Rohr

“I think, therefore, I am.” Rene Descartes is implying that the mind controls who we are, what we are, what we do, and make up our identity. This is hard to argue with. But then we get to Eckhart Tolle and Richard’s Rohr’s statements.

If “98% of all thought is repetitive and useless”, and the brain is primarily worried about the future and replaying the past. This would logically mean, who we are largely is outside of our control.
*If Thoughts=Self, but we don’t control thoughts, therefore we don’t control self.

That’s pretty humbling it it’s true. How many of us when brainstorming for solutions, literally find ourselves circling back to the same answers (even though we know they’re wrong). I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve written the same problems with the same answers down in my notebooks. We all do this.
Some of these teachers are implying that there is another part to the equation that goes beyond thought. The common misconception is that if we want our minds to work better, we need to activate all the parts of the brain. “IF the whole brain is functioning at a high level, we’ll think more clearly.” However, that’s most likely misguided. For us to have experience a higher performance level, we need to “quiet” and deactivate the parts of the brain that are responsible for that 98% of noise.

Contemplation, prayer, meditation, self-observation, flow, and many other names are used to describe this process. The process of quieting your mind and embracing the silence is an essential part that allows you to “step back” and become an observer to your own thought. It helps you to “see the forest, through the trees.” The Irony is this process is that you are actively becoming passive to your own ego and fully embracing the present moment.

There are many ways to reach these stages. Steven Kotler describes it as flow and that it can be achieved through sport, physical activity, and experiences. Have you ever played a sport and had real constructive rational thought? My guess is not, so much of your attention is focused on what you’re doing in the moment. You’re in the zone. You have flow. You’ve surrendered to the present. In surrendering to the present, your brain has diverted all of its energy to where it’s needed most and “quieted” the other parts. Your brain is utilizing all its energy on what it’s presently doing. This state of mind can feel almost “out of body” where time slows, space becomes blurred, and ultimate focus flows.

Meditation, Prayer, and Contemplation all do this as well. They might be uncomfortable at first, but once you push past all the worry about the future and the replaying of the past, you’ll be humbled and be in the present. This might be where you want to go for growth, beyond thought.

– Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose
-Steven Kotler, The Rise of Superman

If you want to truly resolve conflict, we must go beyond justice and into forgiveness.

When evil or wrongdoing occurs, the cry for justice will rise up loudly. The desire for vengeance, retribution, and punishment to help with the hurt and pain that we feel. Justice is important because it holds people accountable for their actions, but we must go beyond justice and into forgiveness if we want to resolve a conflict.

Most of the ongoing conflicts in the troubled parts of the world are the result of an incapacity to forgive. These regions are stuck in cycles of “eye for eye” retribution that leaves everyone blind. This applies to our daily lives and personal conflicts as well.

Why is this?
Forgiveness is a WORK of mercy. The word work is intentionally included in the description, because it is hard. When we forgive, we bear the burden of the other party’s transgression against us.

“You wronged me. You hurt me. But instead of continuing the cycle of hurt, I am going to do the hard work to bear this burden in forgiveness, in order that we can move forward and resolve this conflict.”
What a heavy burden to bear. But only when someone has the strength to bear this burden, can conflict can be resolved.

*Based on the teachings of Catholic Bishop Barron.

The Triangle of Deep Relationships
The deepest relationships have a Triangle structure to them. At two points of the triangle, you will find two people. Most likely these two people like each other and care about each other. But that alone is not enough to build and deepen the bonds between them. What every meaningful relationship must have, is a “Transcendental 3rd”.
This means that there is a deep love of something that is shared by the two people.
“Love of God”
“Love of Country”
“Love of an Idea or Purpose”
“Love of an Activity (sport)”
“Love of Their Family”

Transcendental means it’s beyond the physical, it’s a shared idea, cause, feeling, something that is bigger than just the people in the relationship. The transcendental 3rd must be deeply meaningful to both people. Without this shared meaning, the relationship usually does not go beyond the surface and will have trouble withstanding difficulty.

Husbands and wives who actively practice their faith together, are significantly less likely to divorce. This is because their relationship is more than just two people, it includes “God” as their transcendental 3rd.

Shared suffering or hardship can be a transcendental 3rd. Soldiers who serve together are another great example. They build deep bonds over sacrifice, love of country, and through the hardship they endure together. Teammates in sports could be another example of this same situation, sacrificing for each other physically with a shared vision.

Ideas and causes can also a transcendental 3rd. If two people believe deeply in the same cause it ties them together and deepens their relationship. Whether the cause is right or wrong, people can be united in it. Charitable giving, Climate Change, Communism, are all examples of causes that have united people.

*Based on the ideas and writings of Aristotle, St. Thomas Aquinas, and the Catholic Bishop Barron.

“Anxiety is unfocused fear.”-Dr. Arthur Brooks

Many report to having anxiety. They report trouble sleeping. Feeling exhausted physically and mentally. The number of people that are on anti-anxiety medication is mind blowing. Anxiety can take over our minds and bodies leaving us depleted and incapacitated.

Yet have we ever tried to identify the real source of our anxiety? When we feel anxiety, it’s often very ambiguous. We know we’re afraid, but it is difficult to identify the real reason. The brain craves certainty above all else. So when the future and the outcome are unknown, the brain goes into panic mode.
“The brain mistakes ambiguity for danger.”- Dr. Bill Anton

When feeling anxious, a powerful tactic is first to “Focus Your Fear”.
-Identify the fear.
-Name the fear.
-What is the real fear that is causing me to feel this way?

Strategic Tip: Put your fears into words through writing or speaking. Specifically writing stimulates a part of the brain that is associated with rational thought.

Example:
I feel anxious. Why?
Because cashflow is tight in the business and I don’t know what is going to happen. (source of fear)

If cashflow is tight in the business, what are some real possible scenarios? (and then what?)
Example 1: Our Rational brain: We have some sources of liquidity we can use to get us through this tough time. We could use X, Y,Z… If none of those are good, we could do strategy A, B, C….

Example 2: Our Emotional brain: The bank is going to close on us. We’ll have to layoff all our employees. We’re going to lose our house. My wife and kids will end up homeless. I’ll ruin my kids lives. They’ll hate me. We’ll lose everything. I’ll end up divorced. I will be a big disappointment to my parents and my kids. My life will be one big, wasted failure.

As crazy as Example 2 (emotional brain) sounds, this lives inside all of us. The unknown drives our brains crazy. It turns one unknown situation into an Armageddon that is going to completely destroy our lives RIGHT NOW! Guess what? The entire future is unknown, so the brain will continue to freak out forever, if we let it.

Focusing our fear brings clarity to what is real and unreal. It will quiet our mind. We’ll see that while we cannot know the outcome with certainty, it is very unlikely that the many terrible things in our minds will not come to pass. And if the bad things do happen, it will most likely not be nearly as bad as we imagine.

Practical Takeaway: When you’re feeling anxious, focus your fear. Identify it clearly by putting it into words, verbalizing or writing. This will automatically lead to rational, strategic thought.

In the midst of our fast-paced lives, the Japanese practice of Shinrin Yoku, or forest bathing, offers a serene retreat for holistic well-being. Beyond a mere stroll, it’s a mindful immersion in nature, backed by scientific evidence revealing numerous health benefits.

Scientific studies, such as those published in the Environmental Health and Preventive Medicine and the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, underline the stress-reducing effects of Shinrin Yoku. Forest environments, laden with phytoncides, have been linked to enhanced immune function, as highlighted in the latter study.

Moreover, forest bathing is a boon for mental health, with research from the Journal of Affective Disorders showcasing its potential to alleviate anxiety and depression. Another study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory, and Cognition suggests that time in nature, particularly forests, enhances cognitive function, fostering improved concentration and creativity.

As we navigate the demands of modern life, integrating Shinrin Yoku—whether in expansive forests or urban green spaces—invites a mindful connection with nature. This practice, rooted in simplicity, emerges as a profound means of revitalization, urging us to unplug and embrace the therapeutic embrace of the natural world.

The science of neuroplasticity emerges as a powerful ally, offering a roadmap for reimagining ourselves and unlocking potential. Neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections, allows us to reshape our thoughts, behaviors, and ultimately, our identities.

One method to leverage neuroplasticity is through mindfulness practices. By cultivating present-moment awareness, we can rewire neural pathways associated with stress and negativity. Meditation and mindfulness exercises enhance neuroplasticity, fostering a positive mindset and reducing the impact of harmful thought patterns.

Another avenue for personal transformation is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This evidence-based approach targets maladaptive thoughts and behaviors, encouraging the formation of healthier neural connections. Engaging in activities that challenge our comfort zones and learning new skills also stimulates neuroplasticity, fostering adaptability and resilience.

Visualizing our ideal selves is a potent tool. The brain cannot distinguish between a vividly imagined experience and a real one. By consistently envisioning the person we aspire to be, we prompt neuroplastic changes that align with our desired identity.

The science of neuroplasticity invites us to become architects of our own evolution. Through mindfulness, cognitive interventions, experiential learning, and visualization, we can actively participate in the reimagining of ourselves sculpting a more resilient fulfilled version of who we are.

What pulls you away from the beauty of your soul? In The pursuit of wealth, chasing after relationships, or any other distractions, it’s crucial to ponder if these endeavors are truly worthwhile.

Money and relationships are undoubtedly significant aspects of life, but if they become consuming forces that distance you from the essence of your soul, it’s time for introspection. The constant chase for financial success or the pursuit of fleeting relationships might lead us down a path where the core of our being gets overshadowed.

Consider the moments when you find yourself immersed in the chaos of material pursuits. Are these endeavors aligning with your true self, or are they merely veiling the beauty within? It’s easy to get caught up in societal expectations and external pressures, losing sight of our authentic selves in the process.

Amidst the daily grind, allocating time for self-discovery and introspection is the key. Reconnecting with your values, and innermost desires can provide clarity. Evaluate whether the pursuits that consume your time and energy contribute positively to your well-being and soul.

Life is a delicate balance, and finding harmony between external ambitions and internal serenity is an ongoing journey.